MercyTheKitty Rants

{Mon, Jun 1347, '11}   George Washington is a Zombie

Sorry for the delay in updates, my non-existent readers, but yesterday morning, I awoke with a sudden epiphany… George Washington is a zombie! Here’s what I’ve made of the situation:

Little do people realize that George Washington is still animated and among us today. He is, in fact, America’s longest-living zombie. That’s right; George Washington is still here today, as a zombie. He hides in the White House, away from the general public, and resides in the President’s Cabinet, behind the many skeletons. Whenever a new elected official happens to stumble upon his decaying soul, he simply repents by eating his brains. Explains a lot, doesn’t it?


{Sun, Dec 628, '09}   Mercy Is Cool?

Quick post:

So there I was, cute and innocent (noooo) in math class, talking to my friends. I think we were discussing David Garrett…

David Garrett

For anyone who doesn’t know, this is David Garrett, my newest obsession. To me, he is the most amazing violinist. (Amazing looking, too. XD)

It took willpower to only post one picture…

So, anyways, I was in math class obsessing over David Garrett to¬† my friends (“Omigawd, Mercy, you’re OBSESSED! Give it up!”), when this kid (let’s call him Ray, for the sake of discussion) interrupts.

Before you continue, let me just mention that “Ray” is mad at me because I ripped up his paper contraptions that he keeps pelting at me in class… including a ball of paper wrapped up in tape, several footballs, and a frog…

So Ray interrupts and says, “You know what’s cool? SKILLET. Skillet is cool.”

And I reply, “Oh, yeah. I’ve heard of Skillet.”

“Really? Name one song.”

“Ummm… I dunno. Whispers in the Dark?” (Yeah, I’m feigning idiocy. So?)

He’s silent for the longest moment in his existence– about 4 seconds.

“Woah, Mercy knows Skillet! She just became a little bit cooler.”

*class ends*

So… there you have it? I’m officially a bit cooler than I already was, somehow? Eh?

Really, if anyone can explain the weird stuff I post about, please do. I don’t know what kind of sad being would read my blog…

{Sun, Aug 3013, '09}   The Inspiring Bee

I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging so much recently. I just thought you all might know that I was injured very severely. That’s right. I broke my blogging bone. Don’t worry! It has healed and I am undergoing physical therapy so I don’t strain it.

Okay, seriously, I didn’t come to blog about stupid jokes. (Even though I am a comedic genius) I came to talk about… a bee. A bee, see, dee ee eff…

Once again, I will start over. This morning, I went out to play my guitar. (It’s nice out, my mom was asleep, and my sis was doing homework) The first thing I saw when I stepped outside was a bee. Now, there are plenty of bees in my yard. There’s a big crack under the steps where they all live. But one bee in particular caught my attention. I don’t know what happened to it. Maybe it was stung by another bee, maybe it lost a wing. I don’t know. Anyways, this bee was upside down on the concrete, legs flailing. Every so often, the bee managed to flip over, only to try to fly and flip again. I was mesmerized and watched for a really long time. (half an hour?)

Finally, I got around to practicing my guitar. The whole time, I watched the bee. It stopped moving several times, and I feared it was dead, but after 10-ish minutes, it always got right back to squirming. I also decided to study the other bees.

The hole under the crack by the stairs is only large enough for two bees to enter or exit at a time. Often times, one bee will go in as another leaves. I found it interesting to stare at their orange-colored legs…

Anyways, at one point, two bees tried to enter as another one tried to leave. Let me tell you: bees have no manners. The three of them pushed and shoved at eachother. Finally, two bees forced their way in whatever direction they were going, and the third was forced to wait until they were gone.

Another time, as I was watching the steady stream of bees entering and leaving the nest, I noticed one further along the crack. It flew into the raised half of the concrete crack, banged it’s head, flew back, moved over, flew forward, banged it’s head, moved back… Get what I’m saying? It kept blindly feeling its way to the hole. None of the other bees bothered to help direct it, or catch it’s attention, or anything. It found the hole eventually, all alone with a headache.

Well, back to the bee that couldn’t fly– It was stuck in the same place for a few hours. Flying, flopping. Flying, flopping. I almost wanted to kill it so it wouldn’t have to suffer. But I steadily watched it. Of course, none of the other bees even gave a [insert choice word here]. They flew by and didn’t do anything to help. Eventually, the bee froze. I watched it to make sure it started struggling for life, again, but it didn’t. It stayed still for a good half an hour/hour before I stopped watching it. I fugured it had died.

When I was done with my guitar business, I packed up my stuff and headed inside. I gave one glance to the place where the bee had been, then did a double take. The bee was gone! I hope it finally managed to fly…

Even though the bee was abandones and helpless, it still struggled to the end, and didn’t give up, as I would have in that scenario. The bee is an inspiration to me, and I dedicate my song, “Cold and Wet,” to it. (Now to record it…)

The other bees are selfish, arrogant brats.

Or maybe I’m thinking into this a bit too much…

et cetera